Couch Potato Or an extremely Amateur Gamer or Bum or really a great Procrastinator ?

Finally !
I have found myself a job. Starting tomorrow =)
Excited and nervous. Now, I am just reflecting on what I have been doing........

And what have I been doing for the past three months ? 
This is my typical day.

I slept a lot during these three months. What I did most was gaming. Spending lots of time online.

Reason why I even left my job.....
I have not mention this but my boss is really a monster.
There must be tons of reasons why the turnover rate is so high. I mean I see people leaving within a day !
The bosses are in denial. They are deluded. They take themselves as Gods. Their arrogance and flamboyance. They promote their religious views a tad bit too much for me to handle. In fact I felt spiritually oppressed.

Reason why I left the one before.....
The story is too depressing. I met this girl whom I thought I could trust. I even arranged her transfer from another department to mine. I treated her as a friend and how did she repay me...... Betrayal....... 
Silly as it sounds, I trusted her when others wouldn't. I couldn't imagine anybody this grown up would betray a friend (She's a year older than me, and enjoys speaking in a squeaky childish voice). Others said that I was just too trusting. I felt cheated and of course I needed to get out. I never want to see a person like this any more. So I left to see more of the world. 
Staying in one place too long is just not good for my growth. I need to just get out and get pounded and crushed. I am not a masochist, we all need to trampled before we can stand.

So I am now on to my third job, though it's just a temporary job. I will learn.

Three months of just playing games is over.

Why did I take so long to find a job?
I read somewhere that Perfectionists are great Procrastinators. I have to agree. I have not really see myself as a Perfectionist but I might just be running away from it. Avoiding it. You see, I never want to fight a losing battle.
The point is, I am not sure what job to take up. I do not have any idea what I really want to do.

I need to go to Church. I am just lost in this world.

In Singapore, you can't just do whatever you want. Asian values are so uncompromising. We need to study hard for what? To find a job. Why do we need a job ? We need to give allowances to our parents.
If you can't take care of your parents you are useless!
I am not saying that I am not happy about taking care of my parents. I love them even though they are bias. I will take care of them till death do us part. Since young, we are instil with this filial piety notion that I would feel guilty if I do not take care of them.

Sometimes there's just so much going on.
Quarter life crisis they call this. I do not have any more $$$$$ left to stay at home. I need to get out and get a life for now.

Till then! 

Unemployed

Hi All,

So, I have been jobless for a month odd.
I have been working in a Recruitment firm for the past five months. Learnt a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot office politics. Got into a bloody political fight as well.

There isn't any need to create any form of trouble, it seems that there is no peaceful day where everybody is able to work together as a team. It's double-crossing, boot-licking and all those type of things people would do to just be the bosses's pet.

This is what I needed when I left my job at the hospital. I was too sheltered and overprotected by everybody. I needed to get out and see how the world really is. Then I put myself through that and voila, that's what I got.

I have not start off with some real issues that might spark a big hoo ha in Singapore. The office is a horrible place. Yes all the glamorous dresses, the nice scenic view isn't able to mask the ugliness inside their hearts. It seems evil and superficial.

What have I been doing for the past month you ask ?
Basically, being unemployed means I don't have income. I just stay at home all day playing my favourite game, DOTA2. I slept at 3 - 4 am everyday, waking up at noon or 2pm the latest. But things are gonna change.

After doing a few minutes of research, I have decided to try and wake up early. So in fact I choose the jet lag method. I starve myself for around 15 hours, then I ate breakfast at 9am. To trick my body into thinking it's morning. I am going to eat every three hours to continue to make sure my metabolism is there. I think after sitting down for more than 8 hours a day, my ass is getting flatter.

Time to work out as well. Have not been doing it at all. =p

Never give up your sit for a kid.

It's not about me being Asian talking about seniority. It's about independence.

Trains and Buses

I am never one of those 'nice' aunty or jiejie to give up my sit for a young kid. Toddlers ? Yeah depends on how much they wobble.

Wobbly kids on their iPad or parent's phone NO WAY. Why are we giving them such a good time ? They got a good arm to play, they got a good arm to hold the freaking pole in the trains or buses. 

During my journey home, two little girls; their mom and maid got on the train in Yishun. Both girls in primary school evident from the orange little passes they sling around their neck. They were holding on to a Furby each. The elder one wanted a seat so badly so this is what she said, 'Huh, no seats, then I must stand all the way to Bukit Panjang.' Then she started leaning towards me, refused to hold the bar to balance herself. Expecting me to give up my seat.

Hey young lady, you got an arm around your Furby but you also got a free arm to hold the pole.

Mom, you're not a really good enforcer either. You think your girls are cute now, see what kind of spoilt bratty monsters they will turn into in five years time at the rate they are going.

Dinner Time

Have you seen how quiet kids are these days during dinner ? Well parents these days came up with the idea of letting them watch movies or play games on once again those iPad or phones during dinner. Lovely children eh? Well not until they are unable to feed themselves because they give 100% of their attention to the games or films instead of their food. Ten years old need to be spoon fed too. They do not have any hands. They are so focused. Maybe we should applaud that focus and determination they show during dinner.

Parents why bother to feed them? You encouraged watching and playing during dinner. You did not encourage eating. 

'Royalties'

Parents, your kids ARE NOT Princesses or Princes. They do not have a crest or seal of honor. Parents, let me remind you that YOU ARE A COMMONER. You're not a King or a Queen. So your kids ARE NOT of any royalty.

Calling them princesses and princes will not do them any good. You are just giving them the idea that they deserve everything due to their status. They will take everything for granted, including YOU.

I won't compare kids now to my days, there's no comparison. Kids now are not worthy enough for any comparison. 

Kids these days are practically disabled. Their legs tire easily so they are not able to stand in trains and buses or anywhere. Their arms are weak, so they are not able to feed themselves.

I do not have any kids now, but I am sure, after seeing the examples given. I will not be one of those parents. 

Happy Anniversary 2013

Hi Roar,

We have been together for six years ! Woosh.. How fast time has past..
We are kind odd as a couple eh..
We don't need monthsaries to validate our feelings for one another or just to remind us that we do love each other.
We play games like DoTA and fought in it but no hard feelings right after that.
We enjoy collecting movie merchandise.
We appreciate works like Star Wars, Aliens, Predators, LoTR and so on and so forth.
We dreamt of going to ComicCon not because we are pretentious wannabes who think wearing a shirt 'Geek' or 'Nerd' means they are really one but because of our love for the films and collectibles.

Basically, we are not afraid to really be ourselves infront of each other.
Despite of all those petty arguments about how there might be giant insects deep in the ocean.

I love you. =D

Cheers to many more years to come.
<3

Kafka on the Shore

I've just finished reading the book, Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami.

It made me think of somebody.

Somehow the book gave me some sort of closure.
A closure I needed for a long time.

I feel the book is those kind of books where you interpret it in whatever way you want. There isn't a right way of doing so. Neither there is a wrong way.

For me. My own interpretation would be of some love story. 
I love the way the author described the different human emotions. Something you won't be able to express or understand. Of course, I am nothing but an illusion of guilt and longing.

The book feels like a horror story to me too. A mad cat-killer. Eating hearts. Geez, goosebumps. If the author like cats, why would he want to write about the sick cat-killer ?

The whole book is like a literature book for literature students to study.

The book appeals to me simply because, there's no ending.
Unlike Inception the movie that cause some sleepless nights. I don't like endings that leave you hanging in the air.
This book doesn't hang me in the air. In fact, its the best ending for a story like that.

Sometimes, no ending is an ending.

'Being with her I feel a pain, like a frozen knife stuck in my chest. An awful pain, but the funny thing is I'm thankful for it. It's like that frozen pain and my very existence are one. The pain is an anchor, mooring me here.'
- Kafka, Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami

Last Week in NDL

I will be leaving my workplace to another after this week..

Mixed feelings.. There's so many reasons why I want/need to leave..

What have I been doing for the past three and half years ?
I came into the lab not knowing a single thing about what I was suppose to do.. Really clueless..
My interview was actually bad because of some miscommunication from my recruit agent.. I was so blessed to get this job.. And it was my very first official interview.. Even so, I didn't need to go to any more interviews after that because I got the job..

I still remembered my first day in NDL..................................................... Shall not blog about that.. So......
In summary! :
I spent my first six months in the Nerve Conduction Study team.. The first week I just studied a book, drew my own arm, did a little test on myself.. It was kind of overwhelming.. I learnt the position of the nerves and the muscles they supply to.. I learnt how one small symptom might mean a serious issue too.. I was also taught how to use ultrasound to look at nerves.. Everything was cool to me.. Even till today, it's still cool to me.. WOW..

Then I thought it was time to do my teeth.. So I went for extraction, and was suppose to join the Electroencephalography (EEG) team.. I was being asked to learn ultrasound instead.. I was open to learning anything since I knew nothing.
In ultrasound, I learnt about stroke.. Under three cool doctors and two other colleague.. Met a few fellows who became good friends of mine.. Learnt about the formation of plaques, and the Circle of Willis.. Stayed there for about a year and a half, and I was being asked to go to EEG again..

EEG was interesting.. We need to fix wires on patients heads (Its non-invasive, we just use a bit of EEG paste to stick the wires on your scalp).. Learnt about epilepsy and drugs used to control  it.. My time in EEG wasn't a long term thing, never really got the chance to spend a lot of time there.. 

After that I was a full fledge floater.. Being able to learn so much during my time in NDL was really enriching.. 

I am honoured to have worked with some of the best doctors in their field..

Why do I want to leave ?
Plenty of reasons..  Routine ? No.. Actually, I enjoyed or maybe love performing the procedures, its really interesting to me even after so many years.. Excluding the workload ......... 
One of the reasons is that this is my first job since I've graduated with my diploma.. I've spent all of time here since graduation.. It is tempting to just stay for another ten, twenty years or maybe till I can't do this any more  but I wouldn't want to tell my kids that I stayed in this job ever since I've graduated.. I want to have experiences in different industries, gain more perspectives of life.. I don't want to restrict myself with just doing this.. I need to go out and grow.. Get out of this and see the world !!

And it's also the reason why I need to leave.. It's just time for me to get out..

Yes, my new job pays me around 1K lesser than what I'm earning now.. It doesn't mean I will starve too..
Money isn't an issue for me now, and I really thank God for it.. I worked so hard in the beginning because I wasn't able to afford to further my study.. I really needed a job.. Things aren't exactly stable at home.. Had too much issues..
I've been thinking about everybody first, its time for myself.. Let the future worries itself.. I should just do what I want now when I can still afford to make mistakes, make some bad decisions.. I can still recover now.. I don't just want to know nothing about the world, nothing about anything except what goes on around my workplace..

I want to go on an adventure..

I will miss my colleagues who have already became friends that hopefully one of them will be my future neighbour =D.. I will miss seeing them everyday, greeting them with a 'Morning!'..
Let's hope we will keep in touch..

With that, I can't express how grateful I am to be given this opportunity to work with so many wonderful people during my time in NDL..
From my first interview to my last day here.. I appreciate everything that was shared and taught to me..

Thank you all =D

Married Life as a Young Couple

I am married for around say two and a half weeks..

Things are going fine..
Actually, sometimes I think I am easier to handle than before.. MUAHAHA..

A little more compromising, a little nicer..
Ok maybe I am praising myself a little bit..

I am actually happy.. I am ignoring all the nonsense others are giving me.. But I am definitely happy..

Tomorrow we will be choosing our flat!!
I definitely can't wait to stay with him and all..

THE COUPLE THINGY..
So wanna start living together.. Things are gonna get better.. Fun and exciting..
The only thing is we will have to wait till 2017.. It's going to be ok..
We are planning to have our wedding photos taken hopefully by 2014..
Then finally our dinner on 2015 or 2016..
Exciting times.. We are planning everything together..

I can't wait for everything that is going to happen..



Whatever it is.. We will be together forever and ever.. =D