Sunflowers...

2012-01-07T03:08:00.002+08:00

It's not about being able..
All about what other's want to see..
Want to know..
Want to hear..

Always pleasing everybody through your tongue or limbs..

Nobody want to know or even care how you feel..
Because at the end of the day it is the impression left..

Yes this is the world..
How superficial has it become ?
And I laugh at the disparity between the rich and the poor..

We could no longer really be ourselves any more..
The cruelty of being somebody you don't really want to..

It seems that being yourself puts you in a really undesirable position..
Exposing your flaws..

Perfection isn't without imperfection..

And we all march towards being perfect.. If everybody is perfect, the imperfect becomes perfect isn't it ?

2011 coming to an end..

2011-12-26T03:26:00.003+08:00

It's the last week of 2011..

What have I done so far that's worth mentioning ?
My resolution of losing 5kg?
I failed.. I have put on 5kg INSTEAD..

There's just so many things to do..
And I really hope my 2012 will be a better year..
This year has been a struggle..

I really feel this year end too soon..
Well at least I know I will get my promotion in JAN! =D
YAY TO MYSELF !!

I want everybody to have an awesome year..
And I hope I will have one too..

Gonna apply for school! And I'm hoping I would get it.. Or else there's actually nothing for me to do anymore.. The pressure to get a degree is high..

Another thing is.. A lot of my friends proposed to their partners on Christmas EVE! And I'm really happy for every one of them.. So happy I feel like crying.. Touched max..
Love the festive season..

Cheers all ! =D

and I can't believe you and you actually spoke to me..
If only I could have both of you back..

2011-11-20T23:41:00.002+08:00

Well, hello hello..

I am here again !! =D

Gonna work tomorrow.. It is Sunday already..
I can't wait for the weekends..
Actually, I think i deserve some long break.. Work is getting messier and just complicated, got embroiled in some conspiracy..
I need outlets to destress my mind and body..
More gym time !! Trying to run and exercise more often..

Then more veggies.. Still sticking to broccoli and cabbage.. HEHE.. (Does radish count ?)

And my face.. I think there's no hope for it anybody.. There are just more acne and scars.. Leaving them alone is as useless as doing something about it.. So I've given up.. The battle have been too long.. Lost too many 'soldiers' here.. A losing battle.. Depressing..

I am not stick-skinny, I am not pretty..
I am just normal..

Normal is the new 'weird'..

2011-10-26T23:22:00.002+08:00

Digging up old photos is one of the scariest thing to do now..

Looking at photos just a year back, I already feel so much fatter.. Feel so much older.. and of course, the feeling is just BAD..

Then again, all those photos show something..
I have no worries..

Working life is a totally different world.. Job satisfaction ? I no longer know what's being satisfied means.. Everybody you will meet are just power hungry beasts..
YES you heard me right, BEASTS..

Recently one of my best friends just broke off with her boyfriend..
And to my disgust, he blatantly declare his new love to the world say maybe a few days after..
I know it isn't my place to make such judgemental statement.. Oh well..
My friend is better now.. Good news.. BUT I hope that she's also healing well deep down.. I know its hard to just forget about a guy after being with him for say, four years.. FOUR YEARS..

Thou shalt not blog about my nasty thoughts about that..
Thou shall exercise more.. And eat more vegetables too ! =D

2011-09-22T22:53:00.002+08:00

I am being really random now..

I AM USING NEUTROGENA WAVE DUO..
I really hope it's gonna work.. I really hope its gonna work !!
Damn the acne.. Hope it's gonna work !!

Will give some sort of review here when I notice any difference (good or bad) =)

And I love me boyfriend..

2011-09-04T23:39:00.003+08:00

What do you do when you see your friend cry ?

What do you do when you know a friend who left his girlfriend for four years for another girl he knows for a couple of months ?

What do you know when they so blatantly declare their love for one another in cyberspace ?

How do you handle such mess ?

What is right ? And what is wrong ?

What's justice ?

2011-08-17T23:47:00.001+08:00

I believe there's a God..
I believe Jesus was here before..

I believe Noah.. I believe Moses.. I believe the bible..

But I don't trust the people who preach about what's inside..

2011-08-01T22:07:00.003+08:00

As the saying goes..
Lower expectations, lesser chances of disappointment..

I really want to thank my friends that have been with me for the longest time..
I know you guys have your own lives to lead.. New friends, new hangouts, new hobbies..
I didn't want this day to come.. But I know you will be leaving me soon..
I don't want to be the one who hold you back.. Even if it would hurt me a lot, I know nothing lasts forever..

I will step up too.. It's painful to lose somebody close to you.. We all have to grow up..
No more ifs, you will always have a place in my heart..

It's Time

2011-07-28T23:18:00.003+08:00

I am ready..

Ready to let go..

Positive.. Not going to let anybody put me down again.. Going to get up stronger than before..

Things I need to do.
1. Improve on my vocabulary.. I seem to lose everything.. And I'm starting to stutter..
2. Exercise more often.. Adrenaline, I need it to stay or maybe just feel ALIVE..
3. Praise others more.. If I can make somebody's day better, why not ?
4. Dress up.. If you feel good, you will work good..
5. Prepare myself for the next level..

In spite of all that's going around me, I am pushing on..
Limitless..

2011-06-07T23:43:00.002+08:00

I really can't bear to delete this blog away..
I am holding on to too much memories.. I really can't help it..

I am hoarder..

2011-05-29T22:32:00.002+08:00

I just don't like you..

You're just irritating..

I have no idea what you intend to do with your life.. I just hope it will go well..
I am so tired from all of these nonsense.. I can no longer stand the pressure/pain..

2011-05-26T22:33:00.002+08:00

I seriously think having an elder brother is much better than having a younger sister..

Younger sibs will always drive you to the extreme..
Being the eldest ain't easy at all..
Ya, you get everything first.. EVEN THE SHIT..
You set the bar, yet if you do not do as well as your younger sib you're a loser..

Don't like the way things are going.. But who cares? Even you don't care.. You want to draw a line with me.. I can't deny you.. I can't stop you..
YOU already say I can't go to church..
I really give up.. Since when did I even matter ?

2011-05-23T22:30:00.002+08:00

You're as destructive as a hurricane..

You have no idea how much hurt you have inflicted on me..

However, the greatest thing you have done is to walk out on me..

You wouldn't be able to handle all these..

And so I have to say thanks a lot.. =)

2011-04-24T21:07:00.002+08:00

No.. You never mess with me.. Never..

I maybe all fun and games all the time.. It doesn't mean you're allowed to disrespect me.. You wouldn't want to see me mad.. No you don't.. You wouldn't be able to bear those consequences..
You can't have your name written on that little blackbook of mine..

Don't ever test me..

I've never behaved like an elistist.. I don't promote elitism.. Do not provoke me..
I can be unreachable, I can reason my way out through anything and everything.. Letting you win some petty arguments doesn't hurt me..
I don't act dumb.. I just don't want the spotlight on me..

Just remember this, you are not even worthy to be my opponent.. Don't fight me..

2011-04-05T15:57:00.001+08:00

Let's just take it as I love myself more than you.. I don't want to get involved with anything or anybody.. No emotional attachment.. No attachment at all..

2011-04-05T15:42:00.003+08:00

I haven felt like that for so long.. I could not put this is words.. It is that complicated.. I am like the ultimate procrastinator.. I didn't want to complicate things between us.. Then something just had to happen.. I just can't get that image out of my head.. I don't blame you, I blame myself for letting my walls come down.. I shouldn't have let anything started.. Everytime I try to let somebody in my life, I end up getting hurt.. As we get older, relationships get more complicated.. All I ask for is a platonic relationship.. We hang out, we chill.. We don't do anything more than that..

2011-03-29T22:41:00.002+08:00

You're a super bitch..

A fucking retard..

You put on this facade of a nice little angel..

You're no different from the people you 'hate'..

Disgusting piece of shit..

Deep down you are pathetic.. and You know it..

Fuck off..

2011-03-10T23:41:00.002+08:00

And so.

I AM VERY VERY VERY VERY PETTY !!

I really can't believe I did something stupid again.. Like running under the rain..
Already sick.. Iz ok..

The latest trend so far now are expired chocolates.. As long as they taste great who cares if they are expired.. Sheesh..

I will be on course tomorrow with my bestie colleague..
oh oh.. I have got two bestie colleagues.. Both skinny skinny girls and their names start with the letter 'E'..
They make me stress.. I am so gonna lose weight..

OK I NEED TO GO TO BED SOON.. I LOVE YOU SUNFLOWERS.. I love sunflowers..

2011-03-09T23:11:00.002+08:00

It is 11.11pm now..

Isn't it amazing..
I started this blog in 2006..
I hardly blog these days.. Or I have outgrown from all of these..

Don't we just miss those days where we have nothing to worry.. We could always stay up late playing games online, talk to our friends on the phones.. I really miss those days where friends would call me up and we would chat till there's no tomorrow..
Came to this point where I feel the more technology advances, we could no longer do stuff like that.. Everything is about email-ing, text-ing, facebook-ing.. Blar blar blar..
It is so true what Ashton Kutcher said on a recent film I've watched.. If a guy/girl misses you, they shouldn't email, text, call or write on your wall.. They should come and SEE you.. In person !!

Till then, I have to say.. Relationship wise, I am going downhill.. So blog, you're gonna be my friend throughout this new path I am taking.. You're gonna be my go-to friend again..

So Hello Blogger.. =)

2011-02-26T01:32:00.003+08:00

Everything is getting complicated..
I don't ever want to shut down this blog.. There's just too much memories here for me to keep..
Or I should just hide it..

I dont want to grow ..
I am not having a lot of fun at my workplace..

Nowadays, nothing seem to be going smoothly for me either..
I hope there will be a change of winds soon..

2011-01-14T00:55:00.002+08:00

I cant think of anything to write..

Maybe that's something I can write about..

NOTHING..

Perception

2011-01-09T23:07:00.001+08:00

There is no RIGHT or WRONG..

Only views and perception..

If you do something.. Say you wear a bright red hat.. And a hundred person tell you it is ugly.. Five think it is cool.. The verdict will be ‘It is ugly’..

It doesn't matter how the FIVE feel, it is what the majority feels..

Law-makers create Laws to control us.. But who control them ?

If I kill somebody today.. The judge is going to judge me base on my intention.. Manslaughter or Homicide or just SelfDefence whatever.. If I am charge for killing intentionally, I might receive the death penalty.. But if I know how to find a way to defend myself by saying I did it out of SelfDefense.. I will be set free..

Killing is WRONG isn’t it ? But there are also RIGHT ways to kill like out of SelfDefense.. Or it is my occupation..

Another example, if a guy saw his mother sisters brutally raped and murdered.. His dad tortured till death.. Let’s us just say, the law isn’t able to pin those Murderers down, letting them go because of the lack of evidence.. The poor guy decided to hunt them down and take their lives.. Then because of that, the guy becomes a Murderer.. He has to be punished by the Law because what what he did was WRONG.. WRONG because he took things in his own hands..

At the end of the day, it isn’t about RIGHT or WRONG anymore.. IT IS JUST OUR POINT OF VIEW.. Our Perception..

2011-01-09T22:35:00.002+08:00

The house is so peaceful without them around..

I totally enough being a couch potato for the entire day.. Just sitting on that rotten sinking couch thinking about everything other than them..

Now that they are back.. They totally disrupt the whole environment.. All that banging and noise from the tellie..
Then again, I am the crazy one..

Baaaa.. I am the black sheep..

2011-01-09T21:21:00.002+08:00

In a mess..

That's how my life is now.. And it will remain as such..

I am crazy remember ?

You cant give me what I want.. I find ways to get it on my own.. And you blame me for it.. Just because your ego got hurt..
I am ignoring everything..

I am going to be what I was..

DiamondHeart..

2011-01-09T00:13:00.002+08:00

I hate you..

Enough of your lies..

I no longer believe in 'Family will always be there for you' or 'Blood is thicker than water' bullshit..

All these time you're no different from the kind of girls I despise..

You're so good at doing what you're doing that I think you deserve an award for it..

The day of your passing will be the happiest day of my life..
The you I had known is already gone.. There's nothing left in you that deserves any of my time..

2010-12-29T01:08:00.003+08:00

Feeling extremely pissed at the moment..

At everything and anything..

I have to always remind myself that everybody change.. People change..
I SHOULD TOO.. Why am i always the one holding on to stuff like that ?

Out of gratitude ?
Really.. I dont get it..

Hate it hate it hate it..
I really take you as my best friend..
But you dont anymore.

2010-12-08T23:37:00.003+08:00

Busy busy girl..

I dont know why I am so busy..

SO DAMN BUSY..
AM I suppose to be so busy ??

AHAHAHAHAHAHA..

OK.. I am filled with excitement..

I AM GONNA FLYYYYYYYY TO KL FOR A CONFERENCE..
And I have not taken a plane since I was three or four..
This is gonna be a cool trip.. =)

I wanna love my life more..
HE HE HE..

Busy December !

2010-11-28T23:27:00.001+08:00

It is gonna be a busy month ahead !

December this year will be filled with A LOT OF EVENTS.. I think by the end of December I will be really exhausted.. I want to post a list of stuff I have done this year.. Aww man.. 2010 is going to fly pass us just like that ! Time waits for no man.. I know I know.. So what will I be doing for the entire December ?

Here’s the list..

1st Dec: My senior will be back at the LAB ! I wont be alone anymore !

2nd and 3rd Dec: Going on a two-day course.. =)

4th Dec: Hello Jean’s Chalet..

5th Dec: Bye Chalet at 4am, hello friend’s Wedding.. I AM GOING TO BE A BRIDESMAID ! =)

6th Dec: Took a day’s leave to recuperate..

10th Dec: Flying to KL for a Conference ! MY FIRST CONFERENCE !

11th Dec: Conference ! =)

12th Dec: Conference in the day, flying back at night.. =)

13th Dec: happybutt’s Birthday..

15th - 16th Dec: Parents going on a cruise.. Sis and I will be left alone for two nights..

17th Dec: Giving my sis her belated treat..

18th Dec: Meeting my friends for pool..

19th Dec: Wedding ! My second Wedding ! =)

22nd Dec: Family is celebrating Christmas..

23rd Dec: Boyfriend’s LASIK..

24th Dec: Christmas Eve !

25th Dec: Hopefully I get to see my friends !

30th Dec: Meeting a bud I haven seen for the entire year !

Am I busy or what ?

LASIK - Day ONE

2010-11-14T01:11:00.003+08:00

Blogging for MissRinny

The entire experience WAS INTERESTING..
Done it on the 11th of Novemeber 2010

I got my eyes checked soooooooo many times with soooooooooooo many different machines..

Day ONE:
Got my eyes checked for the last time before the procedure.. Nurses to explain the complications, side effects, dos and donts, risks.. Everything that is important for me as a patient..

There were two other ladies who were going LASIK too..
One of them is only going to perform it on one of her eyes first, and the other two weeks later..
The other lady will be going for the Blade LASIK on both her eyes.. Mine was the Bladeless LASIK..

Difference? Bladeless AKA All Laser, uses laser to cut the cornea.. Blade, simple as it is, is the traditional method.. Using of course, a Blade to cut the cornea.. Bladeless is definitely more expensive than Blade.. But it is your choice to pick any one of them..

Back to the topic..
Three of us were led into a dimly lit room with relaxing music (to clam our nerves).. The lady who is doing the Bladed one will be the first, I will be second, and so on..
So after her, i was led into another room to get my eye CLEANED.. Now regarding about the nurses cleaning our eyes.. I have not dragged my eyes ever.. But the nurses did that for me.. They cleaned my eyes many times.. Dragging the skin right to the end.. I was even pushed back a number of times.. I dont blame them, it is their job to make sure that our eyes are totally cleaned to reduce any risk of infection.. But the way they dragged my eyes, I could feel the skin 'burn' with the notgentleatall dragging.. I dont even use the word RUB..
Let's move forward..
Soon it was my turn to go into the operating theatre.. I lie down on the bed, and the nurses cover me with a really nice blanket.. The doctor wrapped my left eye with the green cloth.. Then the nurses swing the bed to the first laser to cut the cornea.. The doctor first clamped my eye and I was instructed by the doctor to look straight into some green light.. It took around 20seconds for my cornea to be cut up.. Nervous me, halfway when my cornea is being cut, I cannot see the green light anymore.. I started to say, 'I cant see the light anymore'.. The doctor assured me that I was doing fine.. So when he moved on to the next eye, I was more sure about where I was looking at..
After cutting my cornea, they swing the bed to the laser to shape the cornea.. The main reason why I was there.. First my right eye, clamping it again, the doctor kept dropping some solution into my eye.. Then the doctor lifted the flap.. My eye took some time to refocus, and I was again, asked to look straight into some green light.. Soon the laser beam.. I could smell something from the procedure.. Some people describe it as a burning smell.. While the laser was laser-ing my eye, a while circle started forming.. Soon I was saying the same thing again, ' I cant see any more'.. My really awesome doctor then said, 'Oh, look at the while circle.. Dont worry, you're doing fine..'.. His words never fail to put my heavily pounding heart at ease..
After laser-ing, he dropped a few drops of the solution again.. And TADAH, i can see everything OHSOCLEARLY.. But wait, he have to close the flap.. He is a very fussy doctor.. But I appreciate everything he is fussy about.. Perfection is everything.. =) YEA! I GOT MYSELF A REALLY GOOD DOCTOR.. Alright, digress abit huh..
So he closed the flap, then things got a bit blur again.. But iz ok.. He covered my right eye and moved to the left.. What happened to my left eye was, the flap started 'healing'.. He did some work to lift it up as compared to the right.. The my left eye was a stubborn one.. But everything still went on smoothly.. I was more sure with the left..
Right after left eye was done, he used a machine to check my eyes for any unwanted stuff.. There my left eye was 'contaminated' with my own eyelid oil.. Oily lids, I know..
The doctor then cleaned my flap three more times.. Making sure there's nothing before letting me go.
He mentioned that eyelid oil doesnt cause any complications, but he is just fussy with it..
Then it proves my point.. HE IS GREAT..

After the entire procedure, I was led back into the dimly lit room again and the pharmacist started instructing me on the stuff I am suppose to use when I am home and after care stuff..
I wore sunglasses out.. I could see better, but it was a bit hazy.. And Boyfriend brought me home..

I slept till 6pm.. But I couldnt open my eyes.. It was tearing so badly, and it hurts.. Extremely sensitive to light.. The pain wasnt excruciating, it is just some kind of burning sensation.. Which is normal.. Initially, I dare not opened my eyes.. Because it hurts.. But my mother was damn supportive..
Digressing again.. My mother made a lot of ginseng and wolfberry drink for me.. MY MOTHER IS GREAT TOO.. =)

No jogging, shower with my head back, a lot of rules to follow.. BUT IT IS OK.. FOR THE SAKE OF MY TWO EYES.. ONLY TWO EYES.. I AM GOING TO DO IT FOR YOU..

Alright, I am going to rest my eyes..

Rinny sorry for the long post.. But I was trying to be as detailed as possible for you.. =)

2010-10-31T22:41:00.002+08:00

Wasssapppp!!

Alright I know.. This is a dead blog.. That's why I am blogging here..

Dont get it? Nah, iz alright, you dont have to understand or 'get it'..

I had so much fun doing shit these days..
Recently I went to sing again! Made a number of funny videos again.. I just miss those times we had so much fun! And my hair.. It was long and healthy! And most importantly, SO MUCH SLIMMER..

I know I am putting on weight even though my friend dont think so.. I know they are just entertaining me or just being a good friend by not bothering even if I turn into a pig..
I know myself better..
I dont wanna become a pig.. I dont want to have obvious cellulite problems.. Some of you might call it 'vanity' or an obsession..
Or even low-self esteem.. I am sure I am suffering from that since I was soo damn young..

Anyway, I think it is time for me to hit the gym.. I need to get my weight and blood pressure normal..
Starting to suffer from some health problems due to the lack of exercise and stuff..

First off.. I need to really hydrate my body..

2010-10-20T23:44:00.002+08:00

It is not nice to be left behind..

But I guess I have been left behind too many times to count..
I have to admit that I still feel pain/hurt everytime it happens..

Being left out is inevitable.. Cant help it..

Sometimes we just have to let it go..
It is just a wonder that people that you hold dearly leaves you behind.. But those who you dont, was actually there for you all these while..

If Seiko ever reads this.. I just want to say..
............
Maybe I should just email her.. Done I just did..

There are only a few girls I can trust my life with.. Five fingers..
And they will all be my bridesmaid! =)

I kinda love my life now.. Other than the fact that I have to suffer in this stupid place.. Everything else seem to be working fine..
I still want to get out of this house.. It is just time.. =)

2010-10-18T23:58:00.002+08:00

Work work work..

I want to blog about my experience about a salon..
So I guess I will do it tomorrow.. It is kind of late now..

Have been working really hard for the past weeks because my colleague wasnt around.. He went to Thailand..
I am glad he enjoyed his trip, but I was even happier that he is BACK !
MUAHAHAHAH!!

I can finally take some time to rest a bit more with him around.. Because he is a chiong-ster..
I will be THE chiong-ster without him.. With him around, he works too hard.. So I think he needs a lot of break.. =)

Boyfriend is damn nice these days.. Sometimes i think he might be guilty or something.. Ooops!
We haven been arguing or fighting for three days.. Not bad huh..

HAHA!!

This is a joke..
Alright, I will be back soon huh!
=)

2010-10-04T23:07:00.002+08:00

The worst thing about this life is...................

I cannot sleep..

Sleep deprivation is a type of torture..
And I am being tortured right here.. In my 'home-sweet-home'.. Seriously how 'sweet' can it be?
The noise here.. Most unforgiving..
It started out as an hour a day.. Then after complaining, it became 15minutes for a week or two.. Then back to an hour a day..

This going on for years..
Tell me how much sleep have i lost for a year?
Two years?
Three years?

Should i blow up and do something since NOBODY is going to help me.. I need to push myself to see results..
I am trying to be really nice.. Understanding..
BUT WHO THE FUCK UNDERSTANDS ME?

Google 'Sleep Deprivation' and tell me what you find..
Bouts of temper, irrational, irritable, delusional.. blarblarblar..
You know what.. YOU, YES YOU, pushed me too far.. And i am going to snap like a rubberband when you let go.. I am going to get you..

I wont get out of this house until she pays me to.. =)
Till then, if you take one inch across the line.. I am getting back by taking a mile..

Post Trail MIX CRUNCH !!

2010-09-28T23:23:00.003+08:00

Not a fan of raisins sooooooooo

I BOUGHT CRANBERRY!

There are two different types.. CranberryVanilla (red) and Raisins and Almonds (blue)
AND NO THEY ARE NO HAMSTER FOOD..

I love breakfast cereal.. I am not a BREAKFAST person.. But I eat these cereal for snacktime, supper, dinner, lunch.. I basically dont really have my breakfast in the morning.. I have brunch.. HAHA!!

So instead of the RAISINS, I got CRANBERRIES which taste sooooo much better than Raisins..
Love this cereal because of the taste.. Not too sweet or bland..
Actually I love Post Cereals.. HEHE..
I enjoy their honey bunches and cocoa pebbles.. Pebbles are like my childhood faves!

Digressssssing....

Calories wise.. I dont think iz sinful.. LOOK AT IT! They are CEREAL.. How much calories do they even contain?
Granola.. YUMMYYYY.. It is like one of the best.. I could just eat the cereal without the cranberries and everything else actually..
Almonds.. We cannot escape any wholesome breakfast cereal without it.. Almonds are like a must to have in all the cereals..

In short, i just think this is A-W-E-S-O-M-E..

2010-09-26T23:59:00.002+08:00

I think it is time to get a place I can call my 'home'..

But thinking of letting you have the room to yourself.. NOPE.. Not going to let it happen unless you pay half of the place I am staying..

SINCE YOU ENJOY ANNOYING ME SO MUCH.. I love getting an outsider to bunk in with me..

IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW..
I NO LONGER GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR WELL-BEING..

Since when you cared anyway..

And I should pack up and leave this place.. I seriously need to get out of this shithole..

There is no such thing as 'home' in my dictionary anymore..

2010-09-22T00:12:00.002+08:00

Some emotional roller-coaster..

Then......
Four years ago I was just deciding which course to attend..
Had the most frightening experiences ever like almost losing my parents to losing all my friends and everything else in a day..
Three years ago my heart was broken and mend by a guy who I call Boyfriend now.. <3
Met some nice people in school that made it so much bearable to cope.. Graduating with them is an honour to me..

Now......
I am working in a hospital.. A job that I still think iz cool even after a year at it..

Hanging out with my girlfriends at the clubs..
Loving stuff like Jaggerbombs and AppleShooters..

and
Into Ribena ??
Still BubbleTea tops my list of drinks..

It has been a great ride..
I know I cannot expect the rest of my life to be smooth sailing.. But I know with Boyfriend beside me all these while.. I will learn to be better, nicer and hopefully more toned down..

I will break away from all these.. I believe I am higher than that..
Love you more.. =)

2010-09-21T23:31:00.002+08:00

Was reading my old posts..

Nostalgia..

I was always sad and depressed..
Always worrying, so paranoid.. Might have suffered from some form of quarter-life crisis.. The transition from Secondary school to tertiary..
So into band and all..

The thing about reading my old posts..
I used to be so close with so many people like Mel and EPCM and all.. But where are we now?
I used to hang out with Jocey but we dont even talk now..
I used to always chat and just disturb Seiko.. But she's so busy now.. Awww..

I still love Seiko.. But I know she doesnt love me so much anymore..
Fishball has her own friends now..
So does Miss Young..

I have always been closed to Yee and still am today.. Something i am so grateful for.. She like one of those few friends who bother to really meet up..
Ahnessa too.. The random 'hi's or 'hey's on msn really helps..
Everybody else is all talk and no action ? No ?
Will be meeting LeyLey soon this December.. It would be some great Christmas meeting..

Sometimes i just dont get it.. The technology is getting more advanced.. Why isit so difficult to just keep in touch ? Pride ? Ego ? The other party have to make the first move?
I have always been the one making the first move.. But none even tried to follow up with me.. Of course, in the long run, I will get sick of even making the first move..

This is all part and parcel of growing up.. Like what I have read from my old posts.. Somebody whom I called my 'PC' which stands for Personal Counsellor ever told me that.. Somebody who I looked up to because i finally had an older brother figure too stopped talking to me after that fateful incident..

People just walk in and out of your life.. Just deal with it..

On a happier note.. I am still always out looking for fun!
Still playing Lan..
Still active online..
Still gorging myself with junk till iz hurting my weight..

And I was such a noob then.. Didnt even know how to type or whatever is 'ctrl' or 'alt'.. Clueless!
I think after three years in my polytechnic, I did get the hang of the laptop.. Phew!

I am into StarCraft now.. A lot to learn still.. I think the QueenOfBlades is like the COOLEST!!

I should exercise more too.. HOHO..
This is like some emo post.. But no.. I dont consider it so.. It is just some reflection for me..

I want to say.. I still hope one day i can meet all those 'friends' who i have been close to.. Or not to ask so much.. At least muster enough courage to just wave and say a big 'hi' or 'hello' like we have always been in touched and end that coincidental meeting with a big hug to return the time and memories they had shared with me..

Till that day.. I really hope I can return the favours with a hug..
I am a hugger as always..
Memories that I kept in me.. Deeply etched in my heart..

Muffins VS Cupcakes

2010-09-13T23:29:00.002+08:00

There's some quote that goes like..

'Muffins are the ugly versions of Cupcakes'

FACE IT..
Fact: Without ANY icing.. Cupcakes lose hands down to Muffins!

Who would buy Cupcakes without any glamorous icing, glitter and little sweets..
Muffins taste soooooooooo much better to Cupcakes..

This issue about the trend with Cupcakes tells me something..

HUMANS are getting more and more superficial as we speak!
Disagree with me? State your point..

Let us take Muffins and Cupcakes as girls these days..

Muffins taste good WITHOUT icing.. So they shall be girls who are beautiful on the inside..
Cupcakes doesnt take good, but LOOK good WITH icing.. So they shall be the superficial ones who rely on makeup and close to glamour themselves..

Isnt it obvious.. At first glance, you will buy a Cupcake over a Muffin ANYDAY.. But wait.. Cupcake are just SWEET.. You just overwhelm yourself with all that sugar and stuff.. You wont know the real taste of the Cupcakes..
But Muffins.. They look so plain, yet every bite fascinate your taste buds with a little this and that..

Everybody is dressing up.. Going all 'trendy'.. What is the real 'trend' ? Who is 'trend' ?
Majority of us are living in a 'fantasy' world where everything is beautiful and perfect..

Wake up people.. Get out of your world and do something meaningful!
Everytime I walk past a bakery and I see a Cupcake, in my mind I will always think, 'Iz just a barbie'..

To me Muffins are and always will be the best..

As I've always said since I was in secondary school..
Without imperfections, there won't be perfection.. And perfection comes with imperfection..

I am so damn sleepy.. But I thought of blogging..

2010-09-09T00:02:00.002+08:00

Yea..

I am so damn sleepy.. Totally knocking out everytime i typed a letter..
But I want to blog..

* IN THE PROCESS OF DIGGING SOMETHING OUT OF MY BRAINS *

Oh well..

I am listening to a piece of music I played in my Secondary School days.. I was considered a band geek.. I WAS a clarinetist.. I finally gave it up for braces..

Tragedy.. Seriously.. I think no seventeen year old COULD survived after all those tragedies that befall on me..
Let's not go in too deep into that..

How do we clear dark circles.. Sleep more right? I know i know.. Getting to it soon..

There's a question posted somewhere I couldnt remember about 'Should Singapore ban Singlish'..

PERSONALLY.. I think WE SHOULD NOT.. WHY?!
SING-LISH.. = SINGapore + engLISH..
Obviously.. It is unique.. Why cant people accept us? I mean if you were to go to the UK or the USA.. Different parts of the country has a different and UNIQUE accent that not everybody is able to understand..
So why cant others accept us and our SINGLISH..
But frankly speaking.. I think majority of the ones against SINGLISH are OUR VERY OWN PEOPLE.. Those ATAS (show offs) working adults or even kids in ATAS schools think that their ENGLAND BERY THE POWDERFUL (translated: English is perfect) are against all these Singlish..

PLEASE LAH.. Being brought up in Singapore.. I agree we have to improve our standard of English.. But banning Singlish is definitely not the only solution..

TO ME:
Singlish is a mixture of Malay, Chinese, Tamil and other dialects.. It was and IS how us from different cultures, races and background communicate.. This was how our forefathers speak.. And this is what we should accept..

Last words before I go to bed..

SINGLISH is what make us Unique..

NIGHT ! =)

Let me show you my Nasal Septum

2010-09-04T01:32:00.003+08:00

This is MY NASAL DEVIATED SEPTUM..

Look carefully and YOU WILL WONDER HOW I EVEN BREATHE..
But still.. I like the shape of my nose.. Like really..
Other than the fact that this is causing my lower jaw to grow so much longer than it is suppose to..
Even though it requires an orthognathic surgery to improve my jaw and a septoplasty for the septum..

I DIDNT DO ANYTHING..

I dont really like my jaw(jaw wise, i am considered a mild case anyway).. Then again.. Like the previous post.. I think I shouldnt think about the surgery..
There are people out there who needs surgery like this more than me.. There are people who really have an extra long lower jaw.. They are the ones who need it more than me.. I can still live with mine..

Who am i to complain right?

And to Rinny: I like you being you.. And you're nice and pretty too! =))

I am not vain..

2010-08-31T23:25:00.003+08:00

What is 'Vain'?

Vain–adjective,-er, -est.

1. excessively proud of or concerned about one's own appearance, qualities, achievements, etc.; conceited: a vain dandy.

2.proceeding from or showing personal vanity: vain remarks.

3.ineffectual or unsuccessful; futile: a vain effort.

4. without real significance, value, or importance; baseless or worthless: vain pageantry; vain display.

5. Archaic. senseless or foolish.

Oh well..

Yes.. I am having my braces.. Why ?
And so you asked..
Because my teeth are not aligned.. Why ?
My jaw is too small.. IN FACT, my jaw isnt aligned too..

I was given a choice to do a surgery that will correct my facial features such as my nose and jaw because I was born with a deviated septum.. This deviated septum in my nose caused breathing problems in me that result in an altered jaw to help get more air into my lungs..
I opted out of the surgery because I like the way i look.. Yes, the surgery would drastically improve my facial features.. It will also improve the way I breathe and speak.. But I dont want it because of the risk involved..
The surgery includes breaking my nose and jaw.. I mean what if i fall ? I am going to be another joke if my face get smashed..

I was born with these problems.. UNLIKE others who have a normal body..
Girls and guys.. You should love your body.. Think about others who have Clef lips.. They are the ones who require surgery.. NOT YOU.. You are born with everything..
Yes.. But I also wish to be slimmer.. I repeat.. SLIMMER.. NOT SKINNIER.. I dont wish to have stick thin legs with sunken eyes and cheeks, or sometimes cheekbones that are outrageously PROTRUDING.... Elbows that stuck out like some distorted bone that doesnt belong to the body.. NO.. That's not the kind of body I want.. I just want to be toned with a healthy glow..
I just hope others will think thrice before going for surgery..

Dressing..
A lot of people commented on my dressing these days.. I know i dress like crap in my secondary school days and poly days.. ( Actually I am really lazy to spend all that time dressing up )
The thing is.. I DO KNOW WHAT I AM WEARING.. I am not an idiot.. I do know what colours suit me and what dont..
I just see no need to dress all nice and cool in school.. Come on, iz just school.. Iz not a fashion show.. We are here to study not show off who's wearing this or that.. Branded or not.. Dumbos..
Yes, I know my dressing now changed drastically.. WHY? Because i got money to spent!
I buy my own clothes now.. Previously most of my clothes were hand-me-downs.. If not my aunts who loved me dearly would buy me some.. Which is so dear to me that I couldnt bear to wear them..
Fashion ? When I was reading Vogue, I think everybody else is still reading Pets textbook..
I was blessed by my aunts who dressed me up..
Maxi-dresses which are soooooooo 'in' these days.. I do have a lot in my wardrobe all brand new bought years ago.. I was carrying bags that my peers think iz cool only a year later.. I am a proud owner of sooooooo many clothes that I dont have to pay for that could last through all these 'seasons' and 'trends'..
To me, Fashion isnt about whether you are in or you're out.. Iz just about you and your confidence..
And seriously, these days, the word 'FASHION' is overrated.. The way others use it disgust me..
I admit I do not have the confidence to wear a lot of clothes.. But that doesnt mean I lack of a sense of style..

Another thing.. LASIK..
LASIK isnt something about being vain.. It is about your eyes.. People like me who wear glasses for almost our entire lifetime dont feel that great without it..
I admit.. I went for the LASIK assessment.. I am interested in doing it..
SO WHAT HUH.. Those with perfect eyesight, you have got that perfect eyesight.. Well, I DONT.. See the difference?
Those who are wearing glasses.. I have decided to take that RISK.. IT IS A DAMN RISK..
Doing it causes dry eyes and what's not.. My dark circles will be obvious too.. I decided to do it because it is a good investment for long time sake if all goes well..

I am not vain.. I do love clothes and shoes and everything else.. I know I cannot afford it that's why I dont even try dressing up during my school days..
Now I have a job.. I do have money to indulge on items like this.. It is a dream come true for me.. I can finally spend without worries..
So stop all that nonsense like she's so vain, she changed a lot.. BLARBLARBLAR..

I dont follow fashion.. Neither do fashion follow me.. It is just the way I was bred..
I dress up when I want to.. And dress down whenever i am lazy..

Thanks for reading such a long winded post..
XOXO..
If i am a bimbo, I wont be working.. Cheers..

Hello =)

2010-08-30T23:36:00.005+08:00

Let's say..

I will start blogging again..

Hopefully it will improve my writing and another reason is just personal..

So Hi..
I am here again..
Introductions needed?

Well, I created this blog in 2006 to entertain myself during my first year in Republic Polytechnic.. I got addicted to blogging since then.. I couldnt stop myself from writing almost every thought that went through my mind..
Therefore, I got into trouble during my first year of blogging.. Things got so complicated that I didnt realize as the years passed, I slowly distant myself with this blog..

But of course.. I couldnt forget the fun and pleasure I had blogging..
Neither could I forget the pain and despair during my poly days..
Thank God for great buds and pals I met along the way..

ALRIGHT.. Iz all emo-ish and stuff..

Let me see..
I have graduated from my Polytechnic in 2009
.
.
.

Yes this is me and my geeky face..

I lazed around at home with part time jobs here and there for quite sometime before I went for my first real interview..
I got my first REAL JOB..
I started of doing NerveConductionStudies(NCS) for people..
What is NCS?
Basically it is a study to see if your nerves are doing fine.. Let's not go in too deep with it..
Bought a Blackberry for myself.. The first item I got for myself for working.. The first phone I got that isnt zero dollar.. =)

I dyed my hair out of anger..
AND I DYED IT RED.. =)
I pulled out EIGHT TOOTH.. Suffered for three days without solid food.. Then I prison myself with braces for two years.. My first set was red in colour too..
It was just in time for ChineseNewYear..

A lot of my firsts.. Because when others have got stuff like a BucketList.. I got something similar.. It is the '21stList'.. Things i should do when I am young and active..
As I age, I am beginning to feel that I am not able to be as energetic as before.. So I should do everything I can.. =))

Alright.. So apart from doing NCS, I was sent to learn another new skill.. ULTRASOUND.. From February to the present.. Been doing ultrasound scans for patients.. Focusing only on the arteries around the neck and in the head.. So I hope to call myself a Neurosonographer.. =)

I got a great job.. Working with extremely talented people.. I too hope to rub some talent off them and be a talent myself..

My 21st birthday was fun.. Even though I dont have much say over what I really want to do I still had fun..

Appreciate everything my family and friends have done for me..

And one more thing about this year..
One of my buddy, Neo went to Australia.. =(
NO idea when will he be back.. But I do hope he will..

And I got drunk for the first time.. Started clubbing.. Love drinking and jaggerbombs are one of the best drink ever.. Through clubbing, I finally got to know my boyfriend's friends better.. It is something I wanted for the longest time..
Some of his friends..

There's a lot going on in my life.. And I think this blog post isnt a summary.. HAHA!
Just the gist of it..

I WILL BLOG MORE SOON =)

Damaged by CathyGlass

2010-08-26T23:21:00.003+08:00

Was reading this book 'Damaged' by CathyGlass..

Obviously I was cursing and swearing at those who hurt little Jodie.. How can anybody not know or see anything..

As adults, we always overlook small details.. If somebody had bother to check up on her none of these would have happened..
I am an adult now.. I think adults are boring..

I am boring.. I really hope more people will love their kids..

I just think iz a good book..

2010-08-09T22:19:00.002+08:00

Life is getting really dead..

Work, home, work, home, work, home..

Clubbing is like an activity I am beginning to enjoy..
I know some of you(if anybody still reads this) will shake your heads or frown at this..

I dont have much hobbies..
Trying to shift my mind over to playing more games..
Missed playing lan with my friends.. I know i am lousy at it.. Still i would rather play than stay at home..

Started picking up the piano.. Going for lessons and all.. My teacher is a really nice person.. Music.. I dont think I can actually let it all go like that..

Anyway, I am never going to let this blog go.. Even though I created you out of boredom.. You have been with me all these while..

I love you blog.. =)

Five Ways: To become a Beautiful Person

2010-08-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

1. Take a photo of a body of a model/actor/actress that you want to have.. Cut their 'head' away and paste a photo of your 'head' to that 'body'. Place this photo somewhere near a mirror you always look into..

2. Once you get out of bed in the morning. Thank God for another day by standing on your two feets and stretch your fingers into the air (something like you're trying to touch the ceiling)..

3. After the stretch, you should be brushing your teeth in front of the mirror.. Now tell yourself this looking at your own reflection and repeat this sentence FIVE TIMES:

'I AM BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME/PRETTY/SLIM/etc'

4. WATER !! You need loads of water to hydrate yourself..

5. SLEEP !! This is the only time your brain can chill.. So you better let it chill or it will cook you..

I know this is quite difficult to follow.. That's why I am not beautiful..

But I am sure, by doing all these everyday, you will become a really beautiful person.. =)

2010-07-24T03:10:00.002+08:00

How do you set up a blog to sell your stuff ?

Aw man.. This is just so difficult to do.. Arghssss !!

Too many items.. I should just organize a garage sale !

I AM WHAT I AM

2010-07-22T16:50:00.001+08:00

I am not what the world want me to be..

I want to be a scientist..
I want to be a pianist..
I want to be a cellist..

I AM GOING TO BE A PIANIST..
I AM A SONOGRAPHER..
I am on my way to becoming somebody I WANT to be..

I may fall sometimes.. But I can always get up..
Even if it takes years, I will still get up..

YOU SHALL NOT GET ME DOWN..

2010-06-27T22:53:00.002+08:00

You will always learn how to treasure people or things only after you lose them..
It is something human..

Currently, back to being 'single' just for a week..
Boyfriend is enjoying himself in Bali..
And I will be rotting here..

This year's Genting trip with my family is a little different.. Because two of my buds went along with us..

Oh well.. I am proud to be part of this family..

=)

Starting work tomorrow..
Have been missing everybody ever since..

2010-05-23T22:00:00.001+08:00

Removed my Cbox that has been with me since this blog was set up..

Reason:
1. Hasnt been used for a long time..
2. Now they are using it advertise stuff which i dont like..

Well, you know where to find me..

2010-04-24T23:00:00.002+08:00

Every other year.. My posts just got lesser and lesser..

I miss blogging alot..
BUT THE PROBLEM IS..
I am not paid to BLOG..

There you go.. The lack of motivation to blog.. NO MONEY!

And i guess nobody's reading this blog too much too..

I always say I wannabe somebody some day..
I think there's an opportunity right in front of me now..
Yet there's always obstacles hindering me from getting to it..
In the workplace, there's such things as POLITICS..
Seriously, sometimes I think I've already met the worst years ago.. Getting stabbed from behind is nothing to me anymore.. Yes, i will whine and all, I still feel hurt and disappointed.. But I am basically annoyed by all these mumbo jumbo that is revolving around me.. History kept repeating itself.. OVER AND OVER AGAIN.. The same things happen.. I trust this person.. Made this person one of my friends.. Throw all my trust unto this person.. Then this person decided to STAB ME.. WOW..
I think I am the one having the problem.. I just dont learn from my mistakes..

Money is a big problem these days.. Whenever I walk down the streets.. I see YOUNGSTERs these days dressing up like some 'fashionable' 'fashionista'.. Like come'on.. Get a life huh! I doubt you paid for those clothes.. I bet your parents does.. Stupid kids..
And i really think THEY DO HAVE A BAD SENSE OF CLOTHES..

Now I am starting to feel shows like GossipGirl is teaching the kids these days to be bimbos and 'socialites'.. But HOW MANY OF US STAYING IN THE BLOODY HDB FLATS ARE SOCIALITES?!
Because we arent socialites.. Just stop TRYING TO BE ONE..

Enough of my rants.. I guess this is one of the longest post in the few months..

2010-04-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAH!!

I haven been updating..

Been so busy lately..

Just wanna say i got three new colleagues..
Work has been fun and exciting..

I am still learning..
Yea yea, a year already..
The great thing about my job is THERE IS NO END TO LEARNING..

Well done to me!!

2010-03-09T12:28:00.001+08:00

'A simple love, true and pure.
Seemingly thin yet rich within.
As the sky litter with the specks that celebrate what was, is and to be,
Many road blocks abound as the heart races with my mind,
Contemplating how best can i show my eternal feelings.
As this was,
a song of love plays in the air;
cannot help but think of you.
No matter how rough the tide may be,
how uncaring and bad this lover may seem,
know that his heart beats for the one and only.
Excuses here have no meaning,
reason makes no sense in it,
for neither offer any room for love.
Clouded are the many bubbles in my mind which are my thoughts.
But one thing is certain.
The bubble which holds you is biggest,
is strongest,
never will it burst.
Love is kind,
love is strong.
It is unassuming,
amazing beyond all praise.
Forgive me dear.'

And i wonder..

2010-03-04T22:28:00.002+08:00

Sunflowers..

Dont you just love them?
The yellow petals are just beautiful..

Even so, i am allergic to them.. Oh well..

Take my hands..
Walk beside me..
Kiss the apple of my cheeks..
And whisper those three words in my ears..
Be my sun..

How Great is Our God..

2010-03-04T00:06:00.001+08:00

How Great is Our God..

The splendor of the King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God

2010-02-22T22:42:00.002+08:00

There is no reason to get mad over little stuff..

But many 'little stuff' could mess your life up..

I maybe all smiles and happy thoughts..
But i cant say for sure if i could find all these in my own freaking house..
'home sweet home' for sure.. Iz more of a bittersweet feeling..
More of bitter than sweet..
Sweet iz because the past is so much better than the present..
Bitter.. Iz just bitter..
The moment i step in..
Bitter..
The moment i talk.
Bitter..
The moment i move..
Bitter..

Whatever i do is shit..
If they are trying to push me away.. They've achieve their goal..

WELL DONE!!

There's no place like 'home' !!

2010-02-22T22:17:00.003+08:00

Fmylife..

Filial..
What's the point in being so nice when all you will ever be branded is 'evil', 'unreasonable', 'revengeful'..
All these crap..

Your angel smart..
Very intelligent..
VERY SENSIBLE..

What's the point in me scrimping and saving stuff for you when she waste everything ??

I didnt know i could use a normal foolscap paper as rough paper to scribble.. When i do so, i am WASTING resources..
But my sister can?

I am not allowed to draw my textbooks since young because i had to pass them down to my sister.. I keep them all in tiptop condition..
And my sister could draw and colour all she wants..
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG ?!

Always was and always will..

There's no stopping favouritism around the house..
God..
Why go to church to sleep?
Seriously, if you want to sleep, just dont go..

I used to like going to church because it is my sanctuary..
But not so long ago my mother just said I wasnt fit to be a Christian..
Since my own mother condemn me.. Why should i bother to take another step into a church that i dont belong..

After all.. Before i go.. I am sure to mess this place up for that bitch to clean..

Call me revengeful, unreasonable, evil more often.. I presume you want me to show you that side of me..

Your sister is suppose to be your best friend..
She was once a best friend..
But never will again..

Unreasonable?
Evil ?
Ditto to you bitch..

Iz ok if i am the only witness to your hypocrisy..

2010-02-07T17:23:00.005+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY !!

First of all, i want to say..
I'm selling lipbalms over at this site LipSnacks..

Secondly, I am selling this dress away..
It is BRAND NEW..
I got the wrong size for it.. So I am selling it away..

The dress is from Forever21..
Size: S
Details: A beautiful convertible satin dress with optional adjustable spaghetti straps. Flattering sweetheart bust, pleated front and back detail, and included elastic band waist belt. Interior silicone coating to prevent shifting and slippage. Elastic-lined upper back, invisible side zipper. Lined.
- 24" approx length from high point bust to hem, 28" chest, 2.0" wide belt
- Measured from Small
- 54% polyester, 42% cotton, 4% spandex, lining 100% polyester; Machine wash cold

Selling at $27 SGD..
I think it is a steal.. Please tag on my board if you're interested ok?

DramaRama Day

2010-02-02T13:20:00.002+08:00

DramaRama

How dramatic can the day be?

I didnt know antibiotic can be too strong for you..

I popped a pill of Antibiotic in my mouth..
Went out of the house, took the bus to the station..
And the moment i went into the train..
Everything just crashed on me..
The giddiness..
The cold sweat was just horrible.. Like somebody had pour cold water unto me.. My head was damn..
The nausea..
The shivering of my hands and fingers..

I thought that i could at least get to NUH.. But I couldnt take it anymore and alighted at Yew Tee.. AND i was lost.. I stood at the station, gave my colleague a call.. Then BF to inform him that if i am lost blar blar blar.. Calling them was a challenge my hands were shaking so much i think i was going to drop my phone anytime.. I feel like crying.. Call me prideful, i just couldnt make myself to..
I was like suffering from low blood pressure at that very moment..
I flagged a cab hoping to rush to NUH.. On the cab, my stomach gave way.. The cab driver drove me to CCK's Polyclinic.. So damn grateful to him.. All these while i was pinching my arms to distract myself..
Unfortunately, the queue was so freaking long.. After waiting for god knows, i walked up to a lady and told her that i wasnt feeling good.. And everything fast forward to sending me to a nurse..
The nurse didnt buy my story..
My blood pressure was 100/60 something.. It is normal to them i guess.. But to me iz not..
My pulse was 90somthing.. Also normal.. But iz not for me..
My usual pulse at baseline has not exceeded 70.. And the usual is 55-65..
Iz ok.. I told myself that i just need to see a doctor.. I couldnt care less..

Iz like some panic attack..
After waiting for half an hour to see the doctor.. I was feeling much better as compared to being in the train or cab..
The final conclusion from the doctor was : 'I think the antibiotic is too strong for you.'
Guess what, I AM SO GLAD SHE BELIEVED ME..

I just needed somebody to tell me what's going on in my body..

What i've learnt today iz to never overlook small symptoms in your body..
I feel that if your guts tell you that iz bad.. Just do something about it..

I am just glad i am alive..
And what is all that drama?
Being alone in the station was really scary.. You dont know who to look for.. You've got no idea what to do.. Completely lost..

I am just glad it is gone.. Iz one of the worst thing to feel..

The Black Sheep

2010-01-30T23:45:00.003+08:00

Well hello people!!

I officially proclaim.. I AM THE BLACK SHEEP !!
Baa baa black sheep have you any wool?

I'm currently involved in a COLD WAR with somebody whom I have considered closed until twenty five hours ago..
You see, many things happen for a reason..

I no longer see the very need to justify my actions to you any more mainly because you're mind is so tiny.. You can call yourself a good listener, regrettably, I classify you as a Selective Listener.. Why? Because you have never ever listened to my cries for help..
NEVER..
EVER..

For seven years I put up with this mess that you both created with your own bare hands..
I've been trying to get through you, but you have NEVER opened your ears for me..
I've realized, whatever I've done is always wrong/bad/evil/cruel/negative to you..

Ever since that major crisis that happened to me.. I've changed..
And did you bother ? NO..
Did you care if i was really depressed? NO
Did you see that I was trying really hard to be a better person? NO..

I tell you what you see..
A monster..
I am the devil..
But
She's and always the innocent little angel in your eyes.. Do you even have them at all? I guess you're just blind or oblivious to ANYTHING around you..

Remember, there are thing you DONT see.. Unfortunately, i did..
Every time i see something, I go to you..
But you will never fail to push me away like always.. Because i'm a monster..

And before i end this post..
I am going to dedicate a portion of it to the BIGGEST BITCH..

Hey Bitch..
No worries.. You will always be one in my eyes as I've always been a monster in her eyes..
It has been seven years..
I wonder why it would have to last this long..
Other than all the trust you seem to acquire with that watery puppy eyes and crocodile tears.. I see a real monster growing from the day your skirt got shorter..
And have i mention that you HATED girls who wear those FBT shorts because you think that it isnt appropriate ? Yes.. That's right.. You one of those girls now right?
Should i respect you ? NO..
Are you a hypocrite? Yes..
Everybody else picture you as some kind of angelic, kind-hearted, sweet girl.. But nobody really knows that well, you're no different from those other humans out there that lie their way through.. Faking every single laugh/smile, your oh-so-sweet actions are all just an act to get through to others..
You wouldnt even care if your mother fall.. That's how filial you are.. That's how KIND you are..

I know I am going to get kicked out of this house real soon..
Because I am THE BLACK SHEEP..

2010-01-22T01:18:00.002+08:00

Iz ending..

It has been a week since i took the calcium out of my body..
And, i realized that i haven drank enough milk for the bone loss..
Not enough iron for the blood loss..

I am definitely deprive of food now..
Good thing the follow up went well.. Thank God..
And i finally got this little syringe to rinse the holes in my mouth..
FINALLY..

These few days.. and i have to go back to work..
Time pass really fast..

I hope i could slack more at home..
Seriously.. Stylenetwork is such a nice channel to watch..
AHHHHHHH..
I'm a tv-addict..

War III

2010-01-18T01:05:00.007+08:00

And the greatest bitch is now sitting beside me..
Since we are open now.. Why not eh?

I dont owe you anything..
What blackberry problem you have now huh?
Care to spell it out for me?
Dont make me buff..

However, you owe your pathetic life to me..
You owe me big time..
You can never ever repay me within your lifetime either..

Pushover?
I see.. You're behaving the same way as me isnt it?
Thanks for showing how bitchy i am..
You being a 'nicer' bitch? Oh well, all i can say is..

You're much much more manipulative than me..
Oh yes, you're good at acting all dumb and innocent..
My friends? Dont worry, they arent as childish as yours.. No worries..
Unlike you, i allow others to think..
I will just wait till everybody open their eyes to see what kind of person you are..

Nice nice.. Nice having such a great convo with you via blogging..
Since i couldnt get through you because of all those loud music you listen to..
I wonder how many times i called for you and you just turn a deaf ear?
And oh, how many times i take the rap for all the shit stuff you do..

Do i still owe you anything?

Till the day you stop being such a bitch.. We could very well get back to life..
Till the day you decided to not do stuff like pissing the hell out of me.. We could even talk more..
But wait, iz always you and your iPod..
Maybe i should crush it for you? So we could have a better conversation?
Till the day you stop giving me stress, we could be sisters again..

Till the day.. I will rest in peace..

Today could really ended nicely, not until you decided to act more of a bitch than me..

On a happier note, i like you best when you're sleeping.. Because you cant do anything stupid..

Lastly,

Quoting from you: I GOT THE BIGGEST BITCH BESIDE ME... ALL THIS TIME.

2010-01-17T23:18:00.006+08:00

The only motivation i have now is to see her disappear..

They always say 'you only got one sister'..
But they just dont know that she's pure evil..
Pure devilish..
She's my jinx.. Definitely mine..
If not for her, my health wouldnt have to suffer.. I wouldnt have been so whatever they call me..
Just try surviving with her.. One hour is enough.. You would want to kill yourself..

I think God just send her down here to test how much i can control my own instincts..
God, i want to thank you for letting me realize how much self-control i have.. But i am afraid i wouldnt be able to control any longer..

I mean, if i wasnt so cool, she would have been dead fifteen years ago..

And EVERY ADULT thinks that she's some kind of ANGEL..
Like hell, have you ever seen an angel curse?
Swears?
Bite her sister?
Scratch her sister?
And wait, just pissing her god-damn sister off EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY?

Have you?

Have you seen an 'ANGEL' playing games/facebook/blog late in the night, ignoring the fact that she's sharing a bedroom with her sister who has to fucking get up to work the next day..
And ALWAYS, that sister gets the blame for playing late? WTF is wrong with this fucking life?

Seriously, if anybody would like to have such an ANGEL for a sister, i would gladly give her to you..

I am not going to commit suicide because of her.. Wasteful isnt it?
I will just wait..
And wait..
Till the day comes..
Then i can rest in peace..

2010-01-13T23:07:00.002+08:00

My last day before i am bonded for two years..

HAHA!!
This is so funny.. Bonded is the right word..

OK! So i am still binging everything i could think of..
My favourite from chicken to ice-cream to milk tea to everything else that i like!!

Soon i will be on a liquid diet and that's it..
Interestingly, i too believe i wont lose any weight..

And so, drama-mama.. Everybody is forgetting about things that i always remember..
It is either everybody simply have really poor memory or my memory is just freaking good..

And i wonder why i could not Ace my papers..

Trying to keep up with my life as much as possible.. To everybody else out there.. Thanks for forgetting me.. I am so grateful..

2010-01-10T23:36:00.002+08:00

Five more days..

Tomorrow is like Monday..
Monday means Four More DAYS!!

I must have faith that nothing bad would happen..
I am just so freaking nervous..

Like IT'S COMING !!
OMG..
This is scary and exciting and it is more scary than exciting now..

I am gonna be fine..

Please keep me in your prayers.. BLESS YOU and myself..

2010-01-08T00:19:00.003+08:00

Hey everybody!!

So my op is gonna be on the 15th!!
I am freaking out every day that passed..

I cant imagine the pain and pressure that will be rushing to fill my head in those seconds when i start regaining my conscience..

Partially excited..
But still, i hope i am just scaring myself.. It would be so nice to know that i am scaring myself instead of under-estimating the pain that i will be going through the next few days after the op..

Just bye to those eight teeth and hello braces !!

I need to focus on the results !!

Happy 2010!!

2010-01-02T02:02:00.004+08:00

This is so late..

Happy New Year everybody!!

Firstly, i have to do the annual reflection of the previous year..

Major Events that happened in 2009..

1. Graduated with a Diploma.. NICE..

2. Went to a club.. HAHA!!

3. Found a really cool job.. ^^

4. Revamp my wardrobe.. Giving away three big bags and a carton full of clothes.. =)

5. Bought a lot a lot of clothes online and other various stores.. MUAHAHAH!!

6. Spent A LOT OF MONEY !! XD

7. Getting a lot more acne on my face.. =(

8. Faced death once again.. ='(

9. Got fatter.. =(

10. Have not cut my hair !! I'VE WON THE BET WITH BOYFRIEND !!

And a year passed like that..
Oh yea, one more, I GOT A BLACKBERRY.. Sorry i cant help but flaunt it.. Because i paid for it !! HAHA!!
Ever since i got a job, i've been paying most of the stuff myself.. (Sometimes my parents do pay for my meals yea?)

And for this year, i will be putting on BRACES !!
=))
I hope i wont regret it..
At least i wont be doing the jaw re-alignment.. Iz costly huh..
Just gonna skip it..

But the thing is, i hope i wont regret not doing the re-alignment because iz gonna be really life-changing right?
Man.. Decisions..
I dont wanna regret anything..

I welcome myself to the new year..

Wedding Dress by Taeyang

2009-12-28T00:38:00.003+08:00

Wedding Dress by Taeyang (English Translation)

Some say it’s not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There’s something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you’re here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It’s going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

2009-12-26T02:00:00.000+08:00

Merry Belated Christmas and Happy Boxing day!! =)

2009-12-12T01:05:00.003+08:00

XL aka Jack fetched me from work and to AMK and sent me home..

How could i not be happy to have such a good bro and friend?

THANKS BRO!! =))
Even though you keep suan-ing me, just remember, i was just giving you face yea? =)
AND THANKS FOR DRIVING US AROUND !! =))

2009-11-25T00:49:00.003+08:00

Feeling really screwed..

Everything seems to be falling apart..
EXCEPT
for my job..

I am really glad i still have a job..
If anything else is going to happen.. At least i can throw my entire mind and soul into the job so i wont have to feel sad again..

Sometimes i wonder why..
My life is just too colourful..

2009-11-22T02:23:00.002+08:00

This is how fragile we are..

Moving on peacefully..

And I thank God for that..

He will always be the first person who taught me how to appreciate games..

To you..

2009-11-21T02:51:00.004+08:00

So much to say..
Just so little time..

There are just things/matters that we can never stop..

Death..
Unstoppable..
You can play with it, but you can never stop the Dark Angel from getting to you..
You can gamble.. But you still cant stop it..

And now, as i see another person fighting for his life..
Iz almost the same scene..
And i am beginning to wonder..

Should we attach ourselves emotionally with somebody who cannot stop Death?
But that's what makes us human, Attachment..

Attachment allows us, humans, to do crazy stuff..

To be true..
When my dad was in the hospital years ago..
All i wanted was to detach myself away from him so i wont have to feel sad at all..
I would rather bite my own lips than to allow myself to be seen with tears..
The more heartbroken i feel, the more i want to detach myself away from him..
All because i dont want to feel sad anymore..

I didnt want to cry, because crying equals to being weak..
Being the first, weak is not an option.. Just felt the need to be strong enough to be a pillar for everybody else who is/are breaking down and one of the few ways is to be emotionless..
You allow others to lean on your shoulders to cry, but you wont allow yourself to lean on others..
Keep your emotions in place, yet hide under the sheets and cry it out all night..
You dont like seeing the members of your family cry and so you dont.. Because you think that they wont feel good seeing you cry..
Everyday you grit your teeth and move on.. Supporting the people who are breaking down like how a pillar should..
Iz ok when people describe you as somebody cold or evil or heartless.. You know what you're doing is right, and that's all you need to know..
Not talking to him doesnt mean you dont have anything to say..
Not holding his hands doesnt mean you dont want to..
Not telling him, 'I love you', doesnt mean you dont love him..

The immense pressure i put on myself is almost enough to drive somebody else to the route of insanity..

I've written so much here is because i believe somebody is doing something similar as what i've did..
I just want you to know that you dont have to put on that facade.. Because you're not alone..

2009-11-16T23:35:00.002+08:00

I haven been blogging..

Ok, tomorrow i will be taking half-day leave to visit the dentist for my consultation..
I hope will be putting the braces on fast.. So i can take it out ASAP.. HAHA..
Now now, quite a number of people reminded me that i will be spending my 21st birthday in braces..
I have thought about it too.. I even ask Seiko who had a braces done months ago.. She dont care..

As for me, i think it would be fun if i could have my braces in my 21st photos.. Why? Because my current teeth isnt going to let me laugh/smile without being conscious of my crooked teeth.. I would rather everybody to laugh at my braces rather than my teeth..

You can say, the braces are like masks to a face, but in this case is teeth huh..

I love my little darlings..
Awwwww..

And of course, i love you too.. =))

2009-11-08T02:59:00.002+08:00

I so want to dye my hair red..

After getting some inspiration from yea, the singer..

Well, i will do it within this year or the next.. Definitely want to do something outrageously insane..
I want to lead a life full of colours..
So dying my hair red will be one of them..

Braces is part of it too..

Braces are insane to me..
And Van and Yee agreed with me that i might even lose weight after putting them on.. So let's wait and see what's gonna happen..

Like some really slow mini-makeover huh..
Whatever..
Now that i am capable enough, i should use this money to do things that wasnt able because of my background..

Coming from a family where dentists are extremely expensive.. I should really start loving myself by thinking what to do with my teeth and all..

I am not vain, i am just loving myself..
If i am a bitch for loving myself.. I am not sure what everybody else are..

FYI: I am paying on my own.. I am not relying on my parents for all the procedures..

And, i still want my hair red..

2009-11-04T23:35:00.003+08:00

So, i took another day of MC..

Guess what, i am one of those commonly deformed person who has a deviated septum.. Cool yea?

I know i am random.. But iz true.. Some would have seen the X-ray..

ANYWAY,
I saw this good looking guy who was in *ahem* uniform..
I guess, i usually take note of guys in uniform.. BUT BUT, not all guys look good in uniform..
And i happen to see one who look exceptionally cool..

I keep staring at his lips for some reason.. Because his lips reminds me of Johnny Depp..

VERY SEXY HUH!

MUAHAHAHAHA..

*This is what will happen when your boyfriend ditch you for his friends and go travelling in Thailand over the weekend..

So boyfriends, be careful..

And so, that guy totally made my day.. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH..
Other than that, i was having fun in the lab today..
AWWWWW..

I feel happy today.. And i should blog about it.. =))

2009-10-26T23:16:00.001+08:00

¹⁶"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

FYI: John 3:16 can be found on F21 bags.. =)

PRAISE THE LORD FOR HE IS GOOOOOOOD!!

2009-10-25T23:25:00.003+08:00

What can I say..

Friday was Yee's day..
So we meet at our usual place..
We caught a movie together with my bf..

AND SOO..

This movie IS a real tear-jerker.. I mean, you can cry for almost two hours.. From the start you can start crying all the way till the end..
AND, i think the movie was a good one.. I mean great.. I think the actors and actresses portrayed their character well.. I understand that there are differences between the film and book..
I prefer the book, but the ending isnt a happy one.. For people who like happier endings would prefer the film.. Not that i dont prefer happy endings, but it was because of the ending in the book that really got me crying.. That's why i like that book..

So if you want to watch that film.. I suggest you carry a packet of tissue, or maybe two..

And i want to show you some cuteeee mug-noodles i had last week..
There are two flavour miso and curry.. Cute right? MUAHAHAH!!
OK, i've lost inspirations in blogging..
I got so much gossips but isnt for your eyes..
So i cannot blog much..

MUAHAHAHAHAH..
Have a great week ahead for me..
Iz Monday again!
Iz gonna be as blue as before........

2009-10-19T23:20:00.002+08:00

I have this sudden urge to just blog in Tumblr instead of Blogger..

Reason: Tumblr is really user-friendly..

Alright.. I have not been blogging so often lately..
My Friday was CRAZZZYYY!!

I was so happy i could assist my colleague in EEG.. And i was so excited.. I am glad doc encouraged me.. Made me more confident.. HEHE..
I think the environment there is getting better.. I believe it will get even better..

After work, i rushed to AMK with my nonsense boyfriend to meet Van and Ken..
We then rushed to Night Safari to meet Yee..
Anyway everything was rather messy..
But i am sure we had fun walking the trail for the first time.. BECAUSE, we FREAKED out the entire time.. HAHAHAHAHAH!!
I had fun with them..
When JY, Jack and Mick arrived.. We went on the tram.. We were so excited when we reached Neverland.. HAHAHAHAHAHAH..

OK.. Photos will be on facebook.. I heard blogger has this bandwidth thingy.. Not nice to post photos anymore.. Maybe one or two in future but definitely not now..

Gosh, i love my buds..

MEET UP SOON YEA?

2009-10-13T00:48:00.002+08:00

My session with the doc on Monday morning..

Doc: So what's your problem?

Me: On Saturday morning, i had sore throat, followed by flu.. By evening I was having a fever till Sunday morning.. I felt better in the afternoon then during the night I started having fever again till this morning.. On my way here i noticed some rash on my legs.. I dont really know what's going on..

Doc: I think you just got a cold.. And the rash iz just sandflies..

Me: ?? Ok.. Sandflies..

Doc: I will give you MC for the day alright?

Me: Yea sure..

Left the room.. But didnt know where to go next so I went back into the room..

Me: Where is the pharmacy?

Doc: Give my your MC..

Handed the MC to him..
Doc tore my MC.. Me all puzzled by everything..

Doc: I dont think one day is enough.. I am giving you three days.. If your condition worsen, come back..

Me: But this cold started since maybe Friday night or Saturday itself.. Three days is a bit too long?

Doc: I think it is safer.. Ok, take care alright?

Me: ?? Alright..

Walks out.. Still wondering why I needed three days..

BUT i think he's right.. I am still having a fever until now..
I am still sick.. And i am amazed by that..
I seriously thought i will get better by the night..

I guess all i needed was rest.. Real rest..

2009-10-10T01:33:00.002+08:00

Another post just to rant..

I hate that person to cry..
Because she's trying to prove a point..
She trying to prove to EVERYBODY else how poor thing she is.. Like sad and helpless she is to somebody who is evil and cunning..
Like who's the real cunning person here?
I dont plan a scheme, but she does..
I dont throw tantrums by kicking the bed..
I dont kick other's too..

People do change.. But nobody really gets that..

Yea.. And i am getting sick from all the fast food i have consumed.. I am just too heaty.. Say hello to even irritable skin.. Because it isnt getting any better.. I am as depressed as the depressions on my face..

2009-10-09T00:24:00.002+08:00

HELLO THERE!!

I was really wondering why i can juggle with so many blogs..

HAHA..
I think i am too random..

My days have been rather difficult since i have been reviewing some old photos..
I know i know.. I've been putting on tremendous amount of weight!! WHY?
I think i am losing my metabolism..
DAMN..
And my dear boyfriend has been losing weight.. How fair is life ? Tell me how fair isit?

OH MY OH MY..

I really want to get some photos up here..
But there arent any..

I just want to rant..
Like..
If really hate it when i am not included to some activities.. Iz hurting.. And i want to be all revengeful by not inviting you either.. Because that sounds right to me..
I dont like being number two.. So let's just not contact each other anymore..
I just hate life.. Everything is never fair..
I love to rant..

I feel so much better now.. =)

2009-10-03T00:24:00.002+08:00

Everything is getting more and more routine..

I still find it interesting.. Iz quite challenging to hunt for nerves..

The phrase, 'stop getting on my nerves' iz nice to use.. =))

I hope everything is fine and all..
And because my skin is never gonna clear, there iz never gonna be photos..

2009-09-30T00:02:00.002+08:00

Iz hard not to judge you by your friends..

Because when your friends are shit, you are shit..
When your friends stink, so do you..

Now, tell me why i should show respect to your friends when they dont respect themselves?

HI BITCH!

2009-09-27T02:45:00.003+08:00

Was listening to a few old band songs..

Nostalgic huh..
The feeling kicks in..

Then i switched to mainstream..
Cant help it, now i am hooked unto another song..
OR maybe not ONE but many other songs..

Been like a library for songs and other music.. Like yea, i got a lot of new songs in my com..
Thanks to people like everybody who has been sending me..

I know i am out-dated, but i do like Paramore's songs..
Sad to admit but everybody could actually relate to emo..

And, there's another The Script.. They are interesting.. One of my colleague told me about them and couldnt get the chance to let me listen to them.. Then conincidentally mei sent it to me..

Then why should i forget about CobraStarship..
Plus BoysLikeGirls..
See MTV MTV and more MTV..

I have to say this: I am NOT a fan of Taylor Swift.. I think she isnt as good as how she looks.. She got that face that tells you, 'i am not good'.. Yea that's simple..

On a random note, i got burnt by the sun during a half an hour walk with minimal shade.. Somehow i just got burnt.. Dont actually fancy getting burnt a lot.. Being fair? I am not extremely fair, but i do get burn easily and blister DO appear.. Fair-skinned and sensitive skin isnt exactly a good combination.. Obviously, i wont be into sun-tanning eh..
With all that, iz not fun being under the sun too long.. I like the sun, but i dont like getting burnt..
So dont start to call me a 'hypocrite' before thinking about all these..

Interesting yea?

Yea like whatever..
I like random..

2009-09-23T10:28:00.003+08:00

Everybody should take care..

Because everybody seem to be suffering from diarrhoea.. And i happen to one of the sufferers of it..

You know what.. Staying at home sucks.. Seriously, it does! Even though work is tiring.. But staying at home is totally wrong when there's people like that FB is at home with you..
I really wanted to make a comparison table between FB and a real Bitch(Dog).. But because the similarities are so great that the only difference is that FB doesnt sleep around.. Everything else points that she's a dog..
Her owners are actually her 'friends'..

Since my parents are sooooooooooo happy with her.. Having her alone iz enough..

Iz just time to move.. Since there's no difference between our relationship now and being abandon..
I've been alone for too long to even notice it.. HAHA..

That's when I really want to draw that line..
And if you intend to misunderstand me further.. I wont stop you.. Because i no longer see the need to explain anything to you..
Yes, I dont fit to be a Christian.. Because i've got no love..

FB has loads of love.. She has..

2009-09-23T00:12:00.003+08:00

Photos photos photos!!

They will be here soon.. Or somewhat..

This is why i'm afraid of Ally..

She's growing too fast..
I think she's even bigger now.. =(

Does God exist?

2009-09-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

Does God exist?

2009-09-22T13:40:00.002+08:00

What humanity owes to personalities like Buddha, Moses, and Jesus ranks for me higher than all the achievements of the enquiring and constructive mind. - Albert Einstein

Iz nice to know the REAL deal..

Iz really nice to be in the Know..

I like Einstein, because he's fair.. =)

2009-09-21T23:29:00.000+08:00

Weekend was filled with loads of food..

Blogging soon..

Love Drunk - Boys like Girls

2009-09-16T23:02:00.001+08:00

One of the few songs that i can relate to.. =)

Love Drunk - Boys like Girls

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Top down in the summer sun
The day we met was like a hit and run
And I still taste it on my tongue
(Taste it on my tongue)

The sky was burning up like fireworks
You made me want you, oh, so bad it hurt
But girl, in case you haven't heard

I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, forever is over
We used to kiss all night, now it's just a bar fight
So don't call me crying, say hello then goodbye
(Oh yeah!)

There's just one thing would make me say
(Oh yeah!)
I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, but now it's over
(Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)

Hot sweat and blurry eyes
We're spinning on a roller coaster ride
The world stuck in black and white
(Stuck in black and white)

You drove me crazy every time we touched
Now I'm so broken that I can't get up
Oh girl, you make me such a lush

I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, forever is over
We used to kiss all night, now it's just a bar fight
So don't call me crying, say hello then goodbye
(Oh yeah!)

There's just one thing would make me say
(Oh yeah!)
I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, but now it's over

All the time I wasted on you
All the bullshit you put me through
I'm checking into rehab 'cause everything that we had
Didn't mean a thing to you

I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, but now I'm sober

I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, forever is over
We used to kiss all night, now it's just a bar fight
So don't call me crying, say hello then goodbye
(Oh yeah!)

There's just one thing would make me say
(Oh yeah!)
I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover
I love you forever, but now it's over

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Now it's over, I still taste it on my tongue
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na
Now it's over

Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester - VMA Side Story (2009 VMAs Promo)

2009-09-15T22:36:00.002+08:00

This is funny! HAHAHA!!

2009-09-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

Back from lan-ing with Mick and XYZ, HongKai, Mick's friend, TingT and A-lan..

YEE was there too! hahah! But she didnt play anything other than surfing net.. HAHA..

Glad to meet up with friends..
Glad to see Mick two days in a row..
Maybe he's not that happy to see me two days in a row.. But i am fine with it..
He emo..
I also emo..

Reason for being emo: Unfounded..
There is no basis.. The feeling just kicks in anytime it feels like it.. Then i will start to feel like shit..

Iz dumb..
Precisely..
Cant help it either..

And so i hope Mick will stop emo-ing and tell me why he's emo..
But chances are he will just forget about it.. And iz better to do so..

I dont know what am i typing now.. Iz just random..

2009-09-10T23:11:00.002+08:00

Blogging in process..

I am gonna lan tomorrow!!
Things isnt going as planned..

ANYWAYs, i dont like routine nor changes..
Because i cannot decide between them.. I like mid-point.. HAHA..

Got an ulcer.. Ulcers = Nostalgia..
Iz sick right? But everytime i got ulcers in my mouth i will just remember those days when ..................
HAHA..

This is totally random..
But i wanna say..

I MISS YOU PEOPLE!!
Seiko
Ah-ness-sa
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
A-LAN
JieY
Mickey Mouse
XL aka JACK
and .....
and .....
and .....
So many people..

Like when will i meet them again? AWWWWWWW.. =((
Iz difficult to name everybody.. Coz i will be shy.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

I SHALL MISS YOU ALL AND KEEP YOU IN MY MIND AND HEART.. =)
Another thing is, when will i see LeyLey again?
No idea.. Hmmmm..

2009-09-03T17:22:00.003+08:00

Is at home..

Sick..
I am just down..
Drowning myself in my own sorrows..

Whatever..

Yea.. Iz time to upload stuff.. It has been a while.. Not much photos either.. Actually, haven been taking photos for quite sometimes.. Hopefully i will soon.. Or somewhat.. Because iz getting boring..

Seriously this throbbing headache is not leaving me..

Getting some rest..

2009-09-01T23:24:00.003+08:00

Happy Teacher's Day.. =)

Met Andy yesterday..
Then DORA today..

Cuzzies week i guess..
Dora taught me Spanish..

COOL YEA!

Feeling really sour now..
Feeling ................................
I'm just sad now.. Just too sad..

Just another night to cry myself to sleep..

2009-08-27T22:48:00.003+08:00

EVERYTHING SUCKS!!

THIS SUCKS!
THAT SUCKS!

ARGHSSSSSSSSSSS!!

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aoifha;dfnkmncv,.zcn[oaiajfn,mnviuthrrjafn
aeoiahefakndsfklnagka
ewithawoengfakjgna.mnvzmvzfnaweijr[wrih
wioerwwijofdsnmcxvioewioskjvnmgvhutriorkjgkjdsfaklf
oqweretuprtyjkbgfBGNMZCXaeoieroOIAUOTpotuwetqewj
qpriuasdkjzmcvniuthiodfjzoijaenfwthu
aotSFKAJDN,MVNASOJEIOASJGNASKDJFNA
asdfkjadsf,mnckzjdfapohalkjdfakjdfn
reqizdfnsdgoienabdsfnmzxfpioawer

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
IZ WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

2009-08-24T22:18:00.002+08:00

WEEKEND!!
I had tons of fun on Saturday with Van and Yee!!
Another, i got my clothes from F21~~~!!
Shall wear them soon.. ^^
Then K-box with the girls.. Took funny videos.. Might upload one soon..
After that, we watched movie, 'The last house on the left'.. It is quite interesting..

Sunday, played with dar's dog.. Then went to Clark Quay to celebrate Syl's birthday..
Happy 21st huh..

Till then.. Will upload something soon.. =)

2009-08-18T22:20:00.004+08:00

I think this blog lack of something..

PICTURES..
So i am picking photos randomly..

OK.. Too bad, blogger got problem.. Am not able to upload any.. Too bad..

2009-08-16T23:54:00.003+08:00

This is wonderful..

I CANT SLEEP!

I didnt take any naps.. I made sure i didnt have enough sleep last night.. But i cant get to bed.. So here i am blogging..

Happy Birthday to Eugene =)
Saturday was his day, but went to disturb him on Friday instead..
Thought i was going to Popeye's and K.. BUT didnt.. Was kinda disappointed, but i dont think anybody even noticed that.. Who cares anyway? It isnt my day..

This weekend was a waste to me.. I shouldnt waste my weekends anymore..
Just slack on Saturday to sleep in.. Mood swings.. Irritable.. No not PMS, just not enough sleep..
Lesson learnt: Try not to owe your body too much 'sleep debt'..

Somehow, these past few weeks.. I feel that i've treated as some kind of second place friend by some of my 'friends'.. And i am seriously getting sick of it.. And i know i've been saying this for quite some time.. ARGHSSSSSS..
Iz like EMO TIME for me now..

Like first ------
Then ------
Finally ------
Friends.. Who, what, where are they?

Just have to remind myself that there's no perfection without imperfection..
Awww.. Fine, i just dont like clinging unto anybody.. Apparently, people love clingy friends..
But i dont.. And i dont wanna be one..

I wanna play lan..
I wanna play pool..

I wanna be what i was..
I wanna lead that so-call rubbish lifestyle that i was sucked into years ago..
I wanna have fun..
I wanna hang out at Macs..
I wanna go crazy..
I wanna be who i was..
I wanna be the person who didnt have to bother about anything except playing..
I wanna play!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The cold hard fact, people change.. People do change..
And i refuse to accept that change..

There's so much going on in my skull..

Everybody is turning 21..
I think i should review my invitation list..
I am gonna be very practical and real about it..

2009-08-15T13:13:00.000+08:00

Lastly,

There's a bitch in my house..

If you know what i mean..